The Dance
by Aisatsana Shiba
Summary: Five years of a dance I wish would end. I no longer care how.
1. Chapter 1

It has been almost five years since he saved me. And just as long since I fell for him. In all that time, I've never spent more than a week apart from him. Five years of his teasing and flirting. Five years of him returning in the middle of the night smelling of the cheap perfume of his latest conquest. Five years of a dance I wish would end. I no longer care how.

I often find myself talking to Kanan in the middle of the night. Asking her if I can take the risk and confess my love to him. Asking if it is worth losing my best friend over. I'm not so delusional as to think she'll answer with some advice, or that I'm not just talking to myself like your average crazy person. Even of I could have forced myself to risk it, I can't now. Not when we are driving West to save the world.

I sigh quietly to myself and pray the upcoming town has enough rooms for me to finally be alone for at least a little while. My hope is quickly killed when we discover the inn has only two single rooms and it appears that, for once, Sanzo has agreed to Goku rooming with him.

We drop off our things and head to the inn's restaurant. While we waited for our food, I tried to steel myself for the coming night. _I can do this. It's just one night. Just one more to add to a long list. _

I am broken out of my thoughts by Gojyo suddenly straightening in his chair. I ready myself for the suggestive comment I know he's about to make, but what comes out of his mouth is nearly as surprising as the look of disbelief on his face. "Well, I'll be damned."

I turn my head slightly to see a beautiful woman with short black hair and eyes the same blue as a blind man's. I turn back and stare in shock at the smile gracing Gojyo's lips. Not his usual lustful smirk, but the warm smile I've only seen him direct at me or his brother when he thinks no one is looking.

I feel equal parts jealousy and curiosity as he continued to stare at the woman. I carefully hide the former before addressing him, "Gojyo? Do you know that woman?"

"Huh?" He looks like someone had just shaken him from a dream. "Sorry. Musta zoned out. You say somethin', Hakkai?"

I open my mouth to repeat my question, but Goku chose that moment to speak up. "He was askin' you if you knew the babe that just walked in, since you keep staring, ya pervy kappa!"

I think that was one of the only times I was thankful for Sanzo's violent tendencies because if he hadn't hit Goku with that paper fan he keeps hidden somewhere, I would have broken my plate over Goku's head.

"Ow, Sanzo! What the hell was that for?"

"Don't be so loud, stupid monkey!" I refrain from mentioning that he was louder than Goku at that moment. Sanzo had never hit me with his fan, and I like it that way.

Apparently, our antics had drawn the "babe's" attention because she was now staring back at Gojyo, the same smile on her face. She leaves her drink at the bar and comes toward us. Then Gojyo was standing and meeting her ten feet from our table.

Neither say a word, just embrace each other like long separated lovers. His face buried in her hair. Her face pressed against his neck. And there I am… just staring with returning jealousy. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Sanzo give me an unreadable look, one he had been shooting my way for a while now. I think I would have been worried if I wasn't so preoccupied. He clears his throat loudly to catch Gojyo and his mystery woman's attention.

She reacts quicker than Gojyo. Although I have a suspicion that he would have gladly ignored the monk. The woman opens her blue eyes, looks at us, and starts struggling to break free of Gojyo's arms. He seems to be disinclined to let her go.

All the while her soft voice floats over us, "Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hijack your kappa." She gives a short, slightly embarrassed laugh while still trying to escape said kappa's embrace. "C'mon, Gojyo. You can let go now."

"No way. Haven't seen you in years. Thought you were dead. Why hell would I ever let go again." His voice is like I've never heard before. Filled with some unknown emotion.

The still unnamed woman smiles a small sad, almost regretful, smile that contradicted her words. "Well, I'm not dead. And you have to let go sometime. How will you have sex? Cuz you know I'm not interested, and you'd spontaneously combust without. Right, nii-san." I feel relief course through me at her words and immediately feel guilty for it.

"Fine." Gojyo heaves a deep sigh before finally letting go, but grabbing her hand to keep contact, and turning back to face the rest of us. "Guys, this is Cassandra. She's my... umm. She's hard to explain."

I hear Sanzo snort and say, "Sit the hell down, kappa. Bring her if you must and explain."

After proper introductions were made, we spend the rest of our mealtime listening to Gojyo and Cassandra talk, almost in synch, about how they met shortly after Gojyo left his childhood home. Her family life wasn't much better, so they decided to run away together and make a living. They say how they became like brother and sister. A little voice inside my head prays their sibling relationship wasn't as close as mine with Kanan. The guilt and jealousy returns tenfold.

I notice her watching me more than Sanzo or Goku. It's as if she can feel my dislike of her and if she studies my face long enough she can find out why. That thought makes me more than a little panicked, but I figure there was no way she could know I loved Gojyo just due to the look on my face. If Gojyo himself hadn't noticed, no one would... I hope.

They look so happy together. It made me feel sick. Too many emotions at once. I had to get out of there. I stand, make some half attempted excuse I don't even remember, and walk outside in the cool night air. I lean against the wall behind me and close my eyes.

What the hell am I thinking? Why can't I just be happy for my friend? I feel so stupid. The look on his face when he relived his past with her was so pure and beautiful. If you love someone, you're supposed to be happy just because they are, right? You aren't supposed to feel angry, jealous, and betrayed. He wasn't even mine to be jealous over.

I am so wrapped up in my self-loathing that I don't hear someone else come outside and approach me. I jump slightly when I hear _her_ say my name in an admonishing tone. When I turn, I see Cassandra leaning one shoulder against the wall with her arms and legs crossed. She looks very pleased with herself.

"You're in love with Gojyo, aren't you?" She shoots me a mischievous grin when I can't hide my surprise quick enough.

I sigh and look to the stars as if they hold the answers to the universe. "Is it that obvious?"

"Oh yeah. Not to him, so you don't have to freak out or anything. He's not the brightest individual out there, you know. But he's the only one that doesn't see it. The monk knows, and the kid knows something is wrong even if he doesn't understand what."

"Oh my. I didn't think it was _that_ obvious." I put on my best fake smile and hope to every god in the heavens that she would just drop it. Too bad they appear to be taking the day off. Must be a holiday or something.

"You're kind of an idiot."

"I beg your pardon." I'm not sure where that came from. The only time my intelligence has ever been questioned was when I asked Sanzo if I should have been alive at all.

Cassandra gives a rather exasperated sigh like I should know exactly what she's talking about. "You, Cho Hakkai, are almost as blind and just as stubborn as the kappa is. At least you aren't in denial about it, but neither one of you can tell that you couldn't bear to be without the other. That you're hopelessly in love with each other. The gods should make one of you trip and land on the other's face. Honestly." She sighs again, but this time it sounds tired as well as annoyed.

I stare at her in shock, and I am almost positive that my jaw was hanging open. I stammer, trying to find something to say. My mouth must be opening and closing like a fish because she laughs when she glances at me.

Her delicate hand reaches and pushes my jaw closed, and then it moves to gently cup my face. Her expression now softly caring. "He'll come around. Trust me. I'll be sure to knock some sense into that man's head." And with that she turns to reenter the restaurant.

Well, that had been quite interesting... and a bit informing. I puzzle briefly on how Sanzo and _Goku_ could realize my true feelings for our resident kappa. Honestly, I couldn't possibly be _that _obvious, and if I was, Gojyo couldn't be that oblivious. Not to mention the fact that there was no way he could be in love with me….. Could he?

--


	2. Chapter 2

Hakkai was acting strange

Hakkai was acting strange. I couldn't feel the full scale of my happiness at finding Cass alive and well because Hakkai was acting strange.

I had planned on following him when he left our table at dinner, but Cass stopped me and said she wanted to have a 'heart to heart' with him. (I was almost afraid of what might happen.) She pretty much ordered me to go wait for her in mine and Hakkai's room.

I had been waiting for about thirty minutes when she waltzed in with a very smug look on her face. That was rarely, if ever, a good thing.

She looked at me and smiled. I knew that smile. It was the one that said she had been up to something and it turned out perfectly. I was equal parts curious and afraid. "What are you so smug about?"

"I have a question for you, my dear nii-san. Do any of your darling companions know you enjoy the touch of a man as much as a woman?"

Well… That was a surprise. I didn't even have a proper response to that. No, I hadn't told them, but there never seemed like a good enough reason to do so. Why the hell… Wait. That's a good response.

"Why the hell would I tell them something like that? I'm already labeled a 'pervy kappa,' so why should I give them something else to hold over my head." I knew my confusion and frustration were clearly visible on my features, but I couldn't find it in myself to care. Not with her.

Her smile softened. "Because you have the potential to be truly happy for once in your life."

"And who says I'm not happy now?" I couldn't stop the edge in my voice, and I regretted it when her eyes hardened. I knew a fight was coming before she opened her mouth.

"I say you aren't happy. I also say you are more of an idiot than I ever believed."

"Why the hell am I an idiot?" Both our voices were rising in volume. If it got any louder, Sanzo would probably knock down the door and barge in shooting and yelling and threatening to kill us both if we didn't 'shut the hell up.'

It didn't matter. I felt it in my gut that this was one of those fights we had to have. It had always been like that with us. The really important stuff was yelled to get the point across quickly so we could move on just as quickly.

Well, at least I wasn't the one to start our first post-reunion fight. But I would've felt better if I knew what the fuck this one was really about.

"You're an idiot because you won't tell them who you are! You'd rather save face in front of those three, than confess that half the time you creep off to be with men! You don't realize that maybe they won't give a shit! Maybe things won't be so weird when you come back in the middle of the night smelling like sex and having to make up some story about a busty blonde to cover for your own sorry ass! Maybe if you open up those fucking pretty-boy eyes of yours, you'd see that you don't need to cover up anything! You're too goddamn blind to see that you'd be happier with—"

"With what!? Sure it may be weird when I make up some chick, but it'd be a helluva lot weirder if I told them about the fuckin' queer I pounded into a mattress in the cheapest inn we weren't staying in! Or how about the times I'm the one that gets fucked, huh? Oh, yeah fuckin' right, Cass!"

"Um… E-excuse me." I turned around to see one of the inn workers standing at the door with a very frightened look on his face and a basket of towels as big as he was. He was just a kid, and I immediately felt bad for screaming… Well, for not at least locking the door or something. "I b-brought you cl-clean t-towels, s-s-sir."

Cass, being the sweet and lovely woman she is, rolled her eyes at the kid's scared stuttering and my change in mood. She casually walked up to the kid, took the basket, thanked him, turned back to me, and shoved the basket into my gut. Oh yeah, real sweet.

But I knew the fight was over. She hated getting other people involved more than I did and had the same soft spot for kids. Though I knew this conversation was over, I also knew she was still pissed off.

Still thought she was overreacting to all this… Unless she knew something I didn't. Shit. Now I wished the kid never showed up so I could ask. She wouldn't answer me now. Well, I could still try. "Hey, Cass—"

"Don't. Not now. Besides, I'm sure you can figure this one out on your own. May even have a bit of help."

It was then that I noticed she never closed the door after the kid ran off, and that Hakkai was standing in the doorway. Gods, I hope he didn't hear anything. I would have rather dealt with Goku making jokes and Sanzo's repulsion than Hakkai judging me. I knew I couldn't take his resentment… his disgust.

Though he was wearing his usual polite smile, I could see the emotions swirling and clashing in his eyes, but I couldn't distinguish them. That was a first.

I'd sort him out later though. I had a little sister to deal with. "Cass, hold up. Tell me why you're so worked up over this."

She glared slightly at the command, so I added a "please" to save myself the ass kicking. She'd do it too. At least she had in the past…. a lot.

She shot Hakkai a questioning look that really freaked me out. I got scared when he nodded in return. But I was terrified when Cass gave me that smirk…

I was fucked.


	3. Chapter 3

"Cass, let me up

I didn't know what happened. One second Cassandra was smirking at Gojyo, and Gojyo was regarding her with a very frightened expression. Then, they had both pulled out their weapons and were fighting. When my mind finally caught up with everything, Gojyo was tied to one of the chairs in the room with his own weapon held in place by what I assumed were Cassandra's knives.

"Cass, let me up." I could tell Gojyo was trying to sound commanding, but his request came out as more of a plea than anything.

Cassandra remained unmoved by his appeal. "No. Why should I? If I did, you'd only run like always."

Never a good thing to say, really. Gojyo could rarely take that kind of criticism well. I noticed that he was faintly offended at the accusation. "I do not run from anything. Thank you very much."

"Right. Like that time with Alex. Cute brunette youkai. Kinda short, but from what you told me he had a huge--"

"Cass! Now is not story time." Interesting…

"Fine. Fine."

I decided it was time to get down to business before they started another argument. I couldn't believe I was about to do this. I was taking the advice of a woman I had only just met a few hours ago. I took a deep calming breath. "Pardon me. I don't mean to interrupt sibling bonding, but... Miss Cassandra, would you mind if I speak with Gojyo privately?"

"Not at all. As long as you never call me _Miss_ again."

"I apologize."

"Alright. That's it. What the hell is going on!? You two have a twenty-minute chat and you're the best of friends!? Conspiring together against me!? Untie me, damnit!" He was getting upset. I had to calm him down at least a little or I'd have to keep him tied to that chair in order to say what I now realized I had to say.

"Do calm yourself, Gojyo. I assure you, we were not conspiring against you, and we are hardly the best of friends." I kept my tone of voice light, but he'd know I was really calling him an idiot.

"Then tell me what's going on, Hakkai. Please?"

"Oh, that's so not fair, nii-san. Using the puppy dog eyes on him. Don't think the poor guy can take it."

"Shut up, Cass. Weren't you leaving?"

"Fine. I can see when I'm not wanted. Geez. I think I'll go bother your monk friend. He seems a bit too up tight. It'll be fun to push his buttons."

"Do be careful. He has a gun... and enjoys shooting at people."

She waved back at us as she left the room. Gojyo and I stared at the closed door for a few moments before I could work up the nerve to face him. I believed he was too embarrassed to look at me after the things Cassandra had implied and what he had probably figured out I had heard of their argument.

When I finally turned to face him, I was shocked to find him staring at the floor with a very sad and almost regretful expression.

Seemed that I had one problem to solve before the conversation I had planned on the way up here. "Gojyo?" He looked up at me, but not quite at my face. His gaze stopped around my collarbone.

I sighed and continued, "I have three questions for you, and I wish for you to answer truly and completely. Please take your time. First, why would you never tell me you are attracted to men as well as women? Second, did you honestly believe I wouldn't want to stay with you? You must think very little of me."

My final statement caused his head to snap up and his eyes to finally meet mine. I saw the clashing emotions in that gaze. Regret, hope, shame, confusion, anger, relief. His voice expressed just as many. "What!? Of course not. How can you think that? I…" He trailed off and looked down at my feet.

"Please answer my questions, Gojyo."

He heaved a sigh and I knew if he had been untied he would have been running his hands through his hair. "I don't know, Hakkai. I just… didn't want to deal with Sanzo and Goku. You heard most, or all, of the fight, right?" I nodded. "Yeah well, then you have your answer."

I regarded him in silence for a few moments. Then, with my patience waning for once, I knelt in front him and placed my hands on either of his knees. My voice held its usual politeness, but I knew Gojyo would hear the edge in it. "That is not what I asked. Sanzo and Goku's reactions have nothing to do with why you didn't tell _me_, Gojyo."

I squeezed his knees briefly before standing again and walking to look out the only window in our tiny room, giving him the space he'd need to think. I felt his eyes on my back.

He remained quiet for so long I thought I would have to carry on speaking just to fill the awkward silence, but I was relieved and surprised when he beat me to it. "I was afraid, okay? More than afraid… I was scared shitless."

I turned back to watch his face and waited for him to continue. I wasn't disappointed.

"It's not that I really thought you would react badly or something, but I knew the possibility was there. I couldn't force myself to risk it. I knew it wasn't worth it. Come clean or lose you? Easiest decision of my life."

It both frightened and amused me that his reason was the same reason I wouldn't tell him that I had been in love with him for years. I laughed softly and bitterly before moving kneeling in front of him again.

"We are both idiots." My tone was somehow sad and hopeful.

"What was the third question?" I had never in all the years I'd spent with Gojyo heard his voice so… uneasy, maybe? As if he was truly afraid of me and my reactions at that moment. But somehow, it gave me a courage I hadn't known I would have in a moment like this.

I looked into his beautifully crimson eyes and let all the feeling I felt toward him show in my eyes, and I could see him puzzling it all out. Before his confusion could fully change into the dawning realization I saw forming on his face, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his in desperate need to tell him everything without saying a word.

The kiss was harder than I thought it would be. I suppose that was due to building myself up to it so much. I noticed somewhere in the back of my mind that he responded, but I was more concerned with showing him how much I loved, wanted, needed him than trying to get a reaction from him.

I broke away from him with a gasp of breath and sat back on my heels. It was then that I noticed the white-knuckled grip I had on his knees. "Sorry." Was that my voice? So small and frail?

We sat there, motionless, for several minutes before Gojyo tried to lighten the mood by informing me, "That wasn't a question."

He wanted me to ask? Alright. I took a deep breath before saying what I should have years ago…

"Could you love me, Gojyo? I've loved you for almost as long as I've known you." Shock overtook his features, and he opened his mouth to speak. I held my hand up to stop him. "I'd like for you to return those feelings, but I won't ask for anything more than what you can give. Even if that's just friendship. You don't have to tell me that you love me. I just need you to say… something. Anything. But say what you really mean. I've been caught in this in-between for too long."

His jaw dropped slightly. He closed his mouth again. Jaw dropped. Mouth closed. He looked like he was possessed by a fish youkai. Then he started stuttering and making odd sounds that might have been parts of words.

I sighed slightly and rose slowly to my feet. I walked away from him for the third time that night. This time to the door. My hand on the knob, ready to turn at a moment's notice, I looked at Gojyo over my shoulder. He was still gaping… "I'll just leave you to your thoughts, Gojyo. Take all the time you need."

I left before I could humiliate myself further.


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know how long I had been sitting there, chained to a chair by my own weapon. Gods, I hate it when she does that. But it's not like this hadn't happened before now. She'd come back.

I just prayed it would be in time to catch Hakkai before he assumed my avoidance was rejection.

Hakkai. He loved me? He loved me. I couldn't remember the last time someone had said they loved me. Shit, I didn't know what it felt like to be loved. Didn't know how to love someone. I didn't even like myself most days.

But, goddamnit, I couldn't just let him go. Even if I didn't love him, I needed him. Couldn't imagine going back to how life was before that night however many years ago when I saved his ass from bleeding to death in the goddamn woods. And it wasn't like I didn't find him attractive.

My mind made up, I tried to go after him, only to remember I was tied to a fucking chair.

"God-fucking-damnit! Cass! Cass, get your ass in here and untie me!" As well as yelling loud enough to wake the dead, I started struggling against my bonds. The metal holding me down was loud all on its own without me making it to clang together.

Needless to say, someone came rather quickly. Although it wasn't Cass like I'd hoped, but Goku.

"Jesus, Gojyo. Did you make Hakkai mad again?" The innocent question nearly broke my heart. He couldn't have had any idea.

Kept my cool though. "Yeah, sure. Just untie me, okay? There should two daggers holding the chain. Just pull one out."

He just shrugged and did what I asked. Such a good little monkey, he was.

The second I was free, I jumped up and ran out of my room in search of Hakkai. I was in such a hurry I barely noticed Cass leaning in the open doorway of Sanzo's room with that stupid smirk back on her face.

It didn't take long to find him. He was in the nearest bar with a full cup of sake in front of him. I wondered briefly if he had just gotten a new cup or if he hadn't started drinking yet.

I quickly but quietly strolled up to him and leaned against the section of bar beside him. I just looked at him. He hadn't turned to face me, and my brain picked that moment to tell me it didn't know what to say.

Then I heard the jukebox change songs, and a plan popped into my head before the words even started. I grasped his hand and smiled slightly when he looked at me questioningly. I tugged him off his stool and led him to the dance floor.

When we reached our destination, I placed his hands on my shoulder and mine on his waist to pull him closer. I just stared at him for a few moments and tried to think of what phase two of this spectacular plan of mine could be.

He had always told me that he loved my voice on the few occasions he caught me singing. And this song fit us so well right now… Perfect. I placed my cheek against his as we gently swayed together in time with the music and began to slowly sing into his ear.

"_In my life there's been heartache and pain  
I don't know if I can face it again  
Can't stop now, I've traveled so far  
To change this lonely life."_

His grip on me tightened quite a bit. When he pressed his face into my neck, I could feel his tears against my neck. I pulled him closer to me in response. Kami, I was so sick of his tears and sadness. I would have gladly done anything to make it stop.

"_I wanna know what love is  
I want you to show me  
I wanna feel what love is  
I know you can show me_

I'm gonna take a little time  
A little time to look around me  
I've got nowhere left to hide  
It looks like love has finally found me."

I reached up to pull his face far enough away from me to look in his eyes. He had stopped crying at least, but his smile was still a bit fake. When I finally continued the song my voice was rough with emotion.

"_I wanna know what love is, lets talk about love  
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too  
I wanna feel what love is  
And I know and I know, I know you can show me."_

As the song faded out, I kissed him. Light and hesitant. Asking him if it was still okay. Please, let it be okay.

His arms circled my shoulders and yanked me further into him. He parted his lips slightly, asking for more. I gladly gave in to his wishes. I reached into his mouth with my tongue, softly exploring and claiming what was mine.

The world had shrunk to just the two of us. But just like everything else in out lives, someone had to fuck it up. Reality, in the form of several catcalls, slapped us in the face. We both jumped slightly and looked around in surprise.

"Ahem. Gojyo, I do not believe this is the greatest of places to have this… conversation." His slight blush told me exactly what 'conversation' he was talking about. Too bad I had an actual conversation in mind.

I stepped back a little, but took hold of his hand to keep contact. "Yeah, I guess you're right. C'mon. Let's go back to the room. There are some things I didn't get a chance to tell you."

We didn't speak whole way back, but we never let go of each other's hand. I looked down at our entwined fingers and smiled at the feeling of… rightness.

I made sure to lock the door to our room when we got there. I sat Hakkai down in the chair that had been my prison no more then thirty minutes ago. Boy, time sure does fly.

Hakkai looked up at me with amusement, and I noticed I had been pacing nervously. I forced myself to stop and looked at him. Better to just get it out there… or something like that. "Hakkai, I'm sorry about being so oblivious to what you've been feeling. I mean, I look back now and think I must've been a huge idiot for not noticing sooner." I chuckled a bit at my foolishness, but sobered quickly, "I don't know if it's possible, but I want this. I want us."

He was quiet for a moment before he tilted his head to the side like a curious puppy or kitten and asked, "Why would it not be possible, Gojyo?"

"Well, you know. With what Sanzo and Goku are bound to say about this—"

"Gojyo," he said my name sharply as if reprimanding a child. He stood and walked up to me, his face inches from mine. "You care far too much about what others will think of you. Goku will be happy that we're happy and Sanzo will either feel the same or not care at all as long as it doesn't hinder his goals. Please stop being an idiot, Gojyo. It's not very attractive."

My jaw dropped slightly at being told off so easily, which Hakkai took advantage of by claiming my mouth in a deep soul-searing kiss. I didn't bother to restrain my moan. I was too occupied with seizing his hips and pulling him flush against me.

He pushed me back onto one of the beds and followed me down without breaking our kiss. Oh, gods. Hakkai was the one kissing me. Hakkai was the one I was kissing back. Hakkai was the one on top of me, gently rocking our hips together. All the blood in my body relocated to my dick at the realization.

I broke the kiss with a gasp and looked into his eyes. They were darker than I had ever seen them before. He was so beautiful. I lifted my hand to stroke the side of his face. Those eyes closed and he leaned into the caress with a soft, contented sigh. "Hakkai…"

He mimicked my touch and uttered quietly, "Let's not make the first time too sappy, okay? We have all the time in the world for that."

I nodded briefly and felt him bury his hands in my long hair. Gripping and tugging gently, forcing me to bare my neck to him. He nipped and kissed his way down my jaw, along my collarbone, and to the hollow of my throat where he bit and sucked harshly.

I cried out. My hips jerked up against his. I heard him moan, and moaned myself when he rocked more insistently against me. I felt what was left of my already lacking patience die.

I fingered the button and zipper of his pants, teasing him slightly before undoing both. Then I tugged at the bottom hem of his shirt, telling him what I wanted and demanding he give it to me. He sat up but pulled me up with him so he could rid me of my shirt as well.

Could this really be happening? Could I really be having sex… making love to my best friend? No alcohol included? I had to be dreaming. It couldn't feel _this_ good, _this _perfect.

He looked down at me with a smile and a slight chuckle. I felt my brow furrow in response. "Gotta be the first time someone laughed at me in this situation."

He laughed a bit more and shook his head. "No. That's not it. I can just see what you're thinking. I find it vaguely amusing that you're still so surprised."

"Oh. Well, this kind of thing doesn't happen to me very often." By his raised eyebrow and returning smile, I knew intentionally misread my statement. Cheeky bastard. "You know damn-well what I mean. Now get back down here."

"Of course, Gojyo."

He started to push me back down, but I grabbed hold of his hips and flipped him onto his back. He let out a tiny _ooph_ sound and bounced a bit. I was on him in a second. Reestablishing our kiss and quickly pushing his pants down his legs. I broke the kiss and worked my way down his neck, biting and sucking, leaving a trail of reddening marks down that pale column of flesh. I continued down his chest. Stopping to tease, lick, and bite whatever I saw necessary; though I bypassed his erection, despite him trying to lead me there with the hold he had on my hair.

I finally got the pants off of him and knelt between his legs. Without giving him any kind of warning, I took the head of his cock into my mouth and sucked hard. The cry he let out was one of the most beautiful sounds I have ever heard in my life. I moaned in response and felt his hips jerk slightly at the feeling.

I didn't stop until he was moaning and rocking his hips continuously beneath me. Then, I slowly released him and pulled his hands out of my hair. I smiled at the confused look he gave me. "Just need to get something out of my bag, is all."

"Alright. Don't dawdle."

Dawdle. I practically ran to my stuff, got out the tube of lubricant I kept there, and shucked my pants that were still on my body. I was back on the bed, in the same position, before he could blink.

I waved the tube at him and asked, "So, how do you want me?"

He reached up to my hand and pressed the tube into my palm. His eyes were darkened and half-lidded with lust. "I want you inside me, Gojyo. And I asked you not to dawdle."

Right. I nodded my head at him and did as he asked… I stopped dawdling. It took only a few short minutes to slide three slick fingers into his tight body. I rested my elbow to the right of his head and just stared down at him. His green eyes free of his monocle. His hair free of his headband. Gods, he was beautiful sight for anyone's eyes, but he was my sight now. I knew I wouldn't be able to let him go.

I pushed my fingers as far as I could and twisted them until I found what I was searching for. Then, I kept rubbing them against his prostate until he was writhing and clutching at my shoulder blades almost hard enough to bruise. His breathing was heavy, but he managed to pant out at me, "Gojyo… please. Stop teasing me."

Seriously, who could have denied him anything when he sounded like that? Not me, that's for damn sure.

I removed my hand from between his legs and reached for the lube to slick myself up, but Hakkai beat me to it. I bit my lip to stifle the groan that his hand moving on me caused. He gave me a hard look and squeezed slightly. I couldn't hold back the whimper I made. "Don't you dare hold back anything," he practically growled at me. So, I growled back at him, grabbed both of his wrists, and pressed them into the mattress above his head.

"Oh, my. How dominating you are. Will you take me now, Gojyo?" The way he was saying my name, like a purr, made a shiver run down my spine. I let go of one of wrists, and used my now free right hand to guide my dick to his entrance. My eyes met his as I slowly pressed into him until I was as deep as I could possibly be. We made nearly identical moans at the feeling.

I remained still so the both of us could adjust to being joined like this. Then, just as slowly I pulled back so only the head of my erection remained inside. I had hoped to take this slow, to make the first time together last, but it seemed Hakkai had different ideas. When I started to unhurriedly reenter him, he wrapped his long, powerful legs around me and pulled forward sharply.

He threw his head back with a loud moan, and I buried my face into his neck with a moan of my own. I felt him tug at the wrist I still held, and when I let go, his grip returned to my shoulder blades. But this time he dragged him nails ruthlessly down my back. I yelped slightly and my head snapped up. He was giving me that look again. The one that would have been a glare if he wasn't so aroused, or if he wasn't Hakkai. "No sappy stuff, remember?"

I was panting as badly as Hakkai by then, but I still managed to smirk and say, "Alright. Whatever you want, dear."

I pulled out of him almost completely again, only to drive back in hard. His nails raked down my back once more but this time it was in encouragement. I repeated the move again and again, setting a punishing pace. He threw his head back again, and I groaned at the sight of his neck now covered in the love bites from earlier. I pressed my mouth against his ear and just breathed hotly. I knew I had found one of his weaknesses when he simultaneously tightened his grip on me with both his arms and legs.

Sooner than what I wanted, I felt my orgasm approaching. I grabbed onto one of his hips and tilted him so I was pounding his prostate with each thrust. He was almost screaming now. I guess the saying that it was always the quiet ones in life that were the loudest in bed was right… though I wasn't too far behind him. With my free hand I reached for his cock. In response, he went to work on my neck, biting and leaving marks to match the ones on him.

He only lasted a few more thrusts, and when his peak hit, he bit down hard on where my shoulder and neck met. That flash of pain was enough to send me over the edge after him. Then it was over. I collapsed on top of him, both of us trying to catch our breaths.

Eventually, I regained enough energy to roll off of him and onto my side. He did the same so I could pull his back against my chest and wrap my arms around him. I kissed his shoulder and just held him for what seemed like an eternity.

I never knew how good it could feel to have him in my arms. Should have done this _years_ ago. I could feel the satisfaction in both of our bodies, but I could also feel him thinking about something. I sighed and pulled him tighter against my chest. "Hakkai," I whispered into his ear, relishing in the shiver it caused. "Tell me what you're thinking so we can more away from it and back to the important things."

He leaned his head back against my shoulder in what looked like submission. I couldn't tell if he was aware of what it did to me, but I felt my cock twitch back to life nonetheless. His eyes fluttered opened slightly to look at me. "Can't we just skip to the important things anyway? I believe we have years to make up for." His voice was rough and deep, and it made me want to give into him this time. Let him take me, but he was still thinking…

"Please tell me. Or do you want me to beg?"

His smirk told me he didn't frown on the idea, and I figured he was debating on how far he could get me to go. I didn't know if I should tell him that he could probably get me to do anything. But instead he asked, "Who's Alex?"

After I got over my confusion, I just laughed and kissed him.


End file.
